I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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