Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
