either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize