So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize