8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
