come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
