Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
