My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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