So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
