I need help removing her.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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