She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
