Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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