Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
