I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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