i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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