Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
