i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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