wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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