In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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