There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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