i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
