BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
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It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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