party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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