Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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