It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.