Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
love makes seman taste better
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
