Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
