His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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