he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
