i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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