sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize