i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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