Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
