Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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