you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
