am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
...so i touched it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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