This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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