I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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