you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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