I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
do nipples grow back?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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