i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize