i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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