Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have already put on my inside pants.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
