how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
