dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
