Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
