He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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