Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
