Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
