I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
