I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
