I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
