why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
