i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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