My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
