she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
