but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
