im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
