We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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