I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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