so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
