Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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