Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize