I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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