im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
