So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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