i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
