fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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