btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
