And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
