i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just high enough for therapy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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