I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
