Apparently you make a good broom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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