He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize